Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
