You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
