my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
