I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize