Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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