Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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