i don't like sucking hair
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
