We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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