32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
