Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
