the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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