Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
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