Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
