is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
