Well apparently he's into motor boating.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
