Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
