i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
