it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I could fuck to npr.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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