He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
