She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
His hands were made for my vagina.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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