So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
