Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
