Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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