How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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