what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
