ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am naked and annoyed.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
