Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
