Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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