Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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