Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize