Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
