Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
What a dumb baby whore.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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