This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
