Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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