Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
