At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
