Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize