it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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