I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm both gender and math confused
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
