Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize