That's intense
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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