i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
