Yo dont text me then not text me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
