he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This baby is an asshole
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize