He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
