i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
