oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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