when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
