Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
