I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
