I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
