is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize