Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
