Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
