He asked me if I "almost moaned"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
