Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
