actually, I'm a sock model
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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