bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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