you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
