She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
