Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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