I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
