No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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